The 90-Second Repair Card

Do not try to settle the whole relationship while both nervous systems are having a bad day.

1. Slow your own pace. Make the exhale longer than the inhale.
2. Name the event without judging: ‘We started pushing each other.’
3. Return autonomy: ‘You do not have to talk now.’
4. Leave a bridge: ‘I will come back in half an hour. I want to understand, not win.’

Emergency line: ‘We are on the same side, even if it looks nothing like that right now.’